Martin's blog

Using Her Friends to Your Advantage!

Many men have a hard time zeroing in on the right moment to approach a woman. It's especially hard because we tend to flock together with our friends, which is even more intimidating. The best time to approach a woman when you're out in a singles environment, like a bar, is after she's been there for at least 30 minutes and has had a chance to relax and begin enjoying the scene. gilf dating don't want to walk up to her right when she walks in the door. 

The sun

We like to sit down, buy a drink and see what's going on around us before we start up a conversation with a new guy. If you're out in public and run into a woman you'd like to meet, just make sure you approach her when she's not in the middle of something already - like an important cell phone call - or rushing to make a meeting. Now, what if her friends are with her? This can actually work to your advantage. You can use her friends to get to the woman you're really after. Striking up a conversation with a woman you're not interested in is much easier because you're not nervous about her reaction.  

For instance, go up to one of sex in the uk friends and say something like, "I'm really shy, but I'd be so grateful if you'd introduce me to your friend in the pink blouse." Please don't add any tacky adjectives such as "hot babe," or "smoking cutie."  

If you've been meeting eyes with a woman off and on for a little while in the bar, you can walk up and tell her she has the most beautiful eyes. Yes, it's a line, but since you've been looking directly at her eyes, you won't appear to be lying - just enthralled. 

Offer to Meet

Always offer to meet her wherever you're going, but also offer to pick her up. We sometimes like to meet you there for safety measures, but if you don't offer to drive us, you might seem ungentlemanly. You might also find women who like to have a man buy them drinks all night and then don't follow through with any communication once they've gotten what they want from you.  

Heart

If the woman is busy making rounds in the room and comes back to you once in awhile to chat (just when it seems she's low on her margarita), take a pass and let her buy her own drinks for awhile.  

During this entire game of first contact, women are gauging your attentiveness and your motives. Are you really interested in us, or just a one-night stand? Does he like me for my wit and great character, or my 36D chest? You can make a good impression by being genuinely interested in what a woman is thinking and saying. Not only will it get you in her good graces, but it will give you extra insight into the mind of the opposite sex. 

Ask about Her TV Viewing. Online Dating Tips.

online dating

This relates back to the hobbies issue. People watch way too much television these days. And as much as we may enjoy it, it's an inactive thing we do that doesn't involve too much thinking and results in virtually no interaction. Yes, it keeps you up to date on pop culture, but is that all there is to life? And is that what you're looking for in your date, someone well versed about which star is dating which star and what's up on Survivor?

Everyone underestimates how much TV they watch. If you watch a lot of TV and you add up the hours you spend doing it, it will scare the hell out of you. What could I have done with those hours? So no one likes to know or admit how much time she spends on the couch with the remote. So if you ask how much TV she watches and she says a couple of hours a night, you can safely assume the TV is on from the moment she gets home until she goes to bed. If she says a couple of hours a week, then it's possible she does do some other things when she's home. This is all relevant because you may want to do something other than watch TV with your date. You may want to go out. And if she won't leave the house for fear of missing her shows, you'll have a problem. And considering how easy it is to fall into a rut in a relationship, if what you do when you're together is watch TV, that's probably what you'll continue doing for the rest of your time together.

Occasionally, you'll find someone who's gone to the other extreme and will tell you, "I don't own a TV." There's really nothing wrong with this person—probably. In fact, some of the most interesting people are those who have chosen to live outside of the world of television. There's a pretty good chance she's an intellectual. She might be a hippie. And she probably has a lot of interesting thoughts to share with you. But you'll have to leave her apartment if you ever want to watch a ball game or a presidential address.

We think too much TV "is "bad Tor you. "But we'bo'fh ownTvs, and Terry "Bven1rras1rii$'EJWTiriiN/ station. So while it's important not to go overboard, we also don't think you need to be intellectually pure and TV-free. And that's usually the view most people hold. So ask how much TV she watches, double it, and see if you can live with that. Chances are you watch some TV yourself, so you're probably not too different.

Making the Cut. Online dating tips.

For just one second, I'm going to get off of my soapbox and look to a hypothetical example in which someone has bothered to take it slowly, Let's say this is a woman who has partially heeded my advice and has written personalized letters to ten people at once. Four write back. Not a bad percentage. Alas, now she's faced with a quandary, as she now has four men to email, to impress, and to keep track of.

Let's add a wrinkle and say that our fictional woman has just had two quality men write to her as well, so now she has six men on her plate. In such an instance, I would highly recommend (and this goes for members of both sexes) saving email correspondence in a folder named after the website you're on. If you're computer-sawy enough, you may even want to create separate folders for each separate person you email. And there will be a lot of people. Most of them will go by the wayside before you ever meet, so make sure you know how to delete folders before you embark on this crazy Internet journey.
That last thought might strike some readers as somewhat of a surprise "most of them will go by the wayside before you ever meet" doesn't paint a very rosy picture of online dating, does it? Good, because it's rarely, if ever, rosy. Online dating is, at its base, a high-volume medium, which means that if you're emailing six people at once, it's not a bad bet to assume that the six people that you're emailing are also emailing six people at once. Since it's unrealistic to keep that up for very long, we are all forced to make snap judgments based on superficial things in order to thin out the herd.

I wouldn't correspond with any woman who didn't put in the same effort that I put into my emails. If I take the time to write a series of funny and provocative questions, I expect some answers or at least some commentary on what I've said in return. But when all I get is something like, "Cool. What kind of music do you like?" I'm done. You gotta draw the line somewhere, and the lack of thought put into such a response is indicative of one of three things: i) she's boring, 2) she's not that into me, or 3) she's talking to five other guys. Either way, i don't have the patience to continue to make an effort with ,if woman
doesn't see the need to make an effort with me; certainly not when there are five other women who are, at least, temporarily interested in me.
This is, admittedly, an extreme stance, developed over four years of online dating experience. And there are plenty of people who don't enjoy the titillating thrill of email the way I do. They would prefer to hop directly to the phone after a very brief exchange. To those people, I would advocate giving people a few emails to prove themselves, rather than cutting them off as quickly as I do. Overall, however, if you write a lot and get little in return, it may just be a glimpse of the relationship to come. And no one wants to be part of a couple where you put in far more than you receive.